Sacred Books Project

From the right perspective, we’re all heretics.

Sacred Books Index

1. Introduction
2. Bible Project
   1. Genesis
3. Koran Project

Introduction

I decided that it was about time that I sit down and read the sacred books of the world’s most influential religions. Faith plays such a great role in so many lives, inspiring some to tremendous acts of generosity and others to vile atrocities, that the least I could do is read the fundamental texts.

This project suits Discomfort Zone for one very important reason: most religions irritate me, even though I hardly know anything about them! Much of this irritation stems from acts committed in religion’s name, such as a Somalian Muslim rape victim being stoned to death or Christians trying to deny homosexuals the right to marry on what amounts to religious grounds (it’s not the United States of Christianity, no matter how fervently some wish it to be true). But the actions of idiots, even a massive number of idiots, should not necessarily impugn the faith itself.

Furthermore, I don’t want to be like those people who are born into a religion and blindly accept it as being the right one, with no real effort to understand other faiths. In effect, they’re letting their religious beliefs be determined by the same mechanism (i.e. place of birth) that decides their sports allegiances (Go Yankees! Go Celtics! Go Evangelical Presbyterians!). If I were to blindly dismiss these religions without giving a shot at understanding their core texts, I’d be just as lazy and just as guilty of self-inflicted lobotomy.

Thus, here I am, to challenge my lazy world view and read these sacred texts, really read them, in my own way.

What is your way?

Slow. I expect this project to take years, as I organize and write down my thoughts for each section. I am not a religious scholar or a historian, and I am deliberately planning to forgo any concerted research into the various ways a given text has been interpreted. If the texts really are sacred and holy, the important things should shine through even as some details are lost in translation. If a sacred book is only accessible to those with specialized knowledge, what’s the point?

I’ve already mentioned my bias, but I will approach the texts as fairly as I am able, like, say, from the perspective of a curious Martian. I will regard the texts both as literature and as a guidebook for morality and faith. I will be honest in my reactions. I won’t pull any punches if it deserves to be mocked (hell, that’s the fun part), but neither will I ignore wisdom or beauty for the sake of getting a cheap shot in. Frankly, I’ll be spending so much time on this project that I am honestly hoping for insight…

Also, I will be using a silly gimmick called the Conversion Meter.

What’s the Conversion Meter?

It is essentially an attempt to sum up my disposition towards the religion with a single number. -100 is complete and utter contempt and disbelief, while +100 is complete and utter faith and acceptance. The meter will start at neutral 0 and articles add or subtract points based on my reaction to the contents of the given chapters. The more (or less) I want to become part of the faith (for whatever reason) the more points will be added (or subtracted).

Why? I’m not sure. I guess it’s a (silly) way to pit the sacred books against each other and see which religions I’m more or less disposed to. If it turned out that Christianity was the winner, my discomfort would reach epic masochistic proportions, benefiting the site and possibly compelling me to hurl myself off a cliff. Besides, competition between religions never hurt anyone, did it?

What religious texts do you plan on reading?

I’ll try and hit the major world religions. I would definitely welcome any input as to which texts and versions I should read. Here’s a list of what I’m considering so far (note that they’re all English translations):

Christianity

Bible (King James version). This is probably the most widely accepted version among various Christian denominations and is said by some to contain the most beautiful prose.

Judaism

Tanakh / Jewish Bible (New Jewish Publication Society of America version). This is apparently the most widely-accepted English translation in the Jewish world today. I’m not sure yet if I will cover the Torah (first section of the Tanakh), since it’s comprised of the first five books of the Christian Bible with some minor differences.

Islam

Qur’an (The Holy Qur’an, by Abdullah Yusuf Ali). This was a tough one, since the Muslim world is heavily split over Qur’an translations. In the end, I went with the version that the most English-speaking Muslims have read, since my goal is to get the most mainstream perspective possible.

Options that I considered:

• The Noble Qur’an in the English Language (by Muhammad Taqi al-Din al-Hilali and Muhammad Muhsin Khan) is the most widely disseminated Qur’an and is approved by the University of Medina and the Saudi Dar al-Ifta, but is widely criticized as being a thinly-veiled Muslim-supremacy anti-Western rant. This could be hilarious, but it would definitely not be fair to Islam.
• Al-Qur’an, A Contemporary Translation (by Ahmed ‘Ali) doesn’t toe the Saudi line and strives to present a straight translation, but is criticized for being overzealous in denying antecedent scriptures in other religious faiths. A contender, as I’m not sure if I care too much how well it syncs up with the other texts.
• The Holy Qur’an (by Syed V. Mir Ahmed ‘Ali) is the predominant Shi’ite translation, but it’s biased against and disparages figures revered by Sunni Muslims. If I wanted to take a side in the Shi’ite-Sunni conflict…
• The Noble Qur’an: A New Rendering of Its Meaning in English (by Abdalhaqq Bewley and Aisha Bewley) is a Sufi translation and is praised as being a good straight translation with no footnotes and very little sectarian bias; unfortunately, Sufi translation efforts will not likely get much support in the wider Muslim world. A strong contender, but copies are somewhat rare.
• The Holy Qur’an (by Abdullah Yusuf Ali) is probably the most widely-read Qur’an in the Muslim English-speaking world. However, Yusuf Ali wrote this translation at a time of increasing Muslim-Jewish tensions, and his footnotes are apparently plagued with anti-Semitic content. If one takes those notes with a grain of salt, this is also a very strong contender.

Buddhism

This is complicated, because Buddhism doesn’t have a definitive sacred text. It’s an oral tradition, parts of which were recorded at different times by people with vastly differing interpretations. Nevertheless, reading one of the more highly-regarded texts in each of the three main modern sects should prove enlightening.

Therevada Buddhism

Pali Canon (Pali Canon in English Translation by the Pali Text Society). The Pali Canon is the earliest collection of scriptures available, and this translation is at 43 volumes and still not complete yet. Unfortunately, it’s the only English version available.

Mahayana Buddhism

Prajnaparamita / Perfection of Wisdom Sutras (The Perfection of Wisdom in Eight Thousand Lines and its Verse Summary by Edward Conze). A lot of choice here, as the Perfection of Wisdom sutras grew from 8000 lines to 10000, 18000, 25000, and 100000 line versions from 100 to 300 AD. Conze’s version is supposedly a strict translation of the earliest text, which happens to be the shortest, so it’s a fairly painless choice.

Vajrayana (Tibetan) Buddhism

Kangyur / Translated Words (version to be decided). This is a sticky wicket, as the Kangyur consists of everything and anything that was attributable to the Buddha; it weighs in at about 108 volumes. Which texts are included is heavily subject to the editor’s whims, and the Kangyur itself also contains many works from the Mahayana and other Buddhist traditions. I will likely just choose selected Vajrayana-specific texts for this project.

Hinduism

Vedas (translation by Ralph Griffith). The only English translation I can find that includes all four Vedas.

Which religion will you start with?

Christianity. I was raised Catholic, but I gradually came to despise the religion for various reasons that I won’t go into here. My ire has cooled off over the years (i.e. I don’t hate it anymore), but coming back to the Bible will still be the most uncomfortable starting place for me, making it the logical choice.

Note that I will not wait to finish the Bible before I start looking at other texts. Should be more interesting that way, and it would be tiresome to wait a year or more before starting others.

Why should we read your uninformed opinions about random religious texts?

Good question. At heart, I’m just a (relatively) normal guy who wants to read a bunch of sacred books, and write about it in a completely uncensored fashion. If that sounds boring to you, it probably will be. If it sounds like fun, hop aboard the Sacrilege Express!

Can I tell you how wrong you are and derail the Sacrilege Express?

Of course. Feedback is much appreciated; for example, you can tell me which circle of hell I’ll end up in. If you don’t want to write comments for all to see, you can email me at discomfortzone@gmail.com. If warranted, I may add your insight to the article itself (with proper attribution, of course). If you want to join in on this project and write your own article or set of articles, I’d be thrilled.

- Cowtipper

Bible Project

Version: King James Bible

Christianity’s sacred book will have many familiar passages to anybody who grew up in the West, but I wager most of us have never read the whole thing. As stated above, I am someone who has escaped the faith, but I will try to be a Martian outsider when considering the Bible. Here’s hoping that uncomfortable buttons are pushed one way or the other.

Bible Index

Genesis 1 - God gives birth
Short Summary: God creates the universe and orders animals and humans to get busy.
Morality Condensed: God is boss. Procreation is good. Humans rule.
The Read: Epic, grand, and slightly repetitive.
Sketchiness: Moses failed physics class.
Last Word: It’s all good.
Conversion Meter: Add: 5 | New total: +5

Genesis 2 - Of Man & Help Meet
Short Summary: God creates Man (again), puts him in a garden, forbids eating from tree of knowledge, and gives him Woman.
Morality Condensed: Obey His dietary prescription. Death penalty is OK. Newlyweds, leave the nest. Nudity’s cool. Everybody, take a day off.
The Read: Dashes of elegance.
Sketchiness: Moses can’t decide which day Man was created.
Last Word: Eat the fruit, I dare you.
Conversion Meter: Subtract: 2 | New total: +3

Genesis 3 - Adam puts on clothes, God gets angry
Short Summary: Adam & Eve eat the forbidden fruit, provoking the Lord God to condemn humanity to a hard, mortal life outside paradise.
Morality Condensed: Feel pain, toil, and eventually die as punishment for the original sin. Manipulators suck. Never stop crushing serpent. Eve, you’re Adam’s bitch.
The Read: Elaborate on the important details, please!
Sketchiness: Forbidden fruit comes across as a giant Macguffin.
Last Word: Knowledge is shame.
Conversion Meter: Subtract: 4 | New total: -1

Koran Project

Version: The Holy Qur’an (by Abdullah Yusuf Ali)

Seeing as how America is firmly entrenched in Middle Eastern politics and how most of my knowledge of Islam comes through the distorting lens of American media, the Koran is a natural choice for the second sacred book. Is it a book of peace or a manifesto for violence against non-believers? People with agendas like to tell us that it’s one or the other, trusting in our desire for black-and-white and in our laziness to never actually pick up and read the damn thing.

As mentioned above, I chose Yusuf Ali’s version because it is the most widely-read by English-speaking Muslims; mainstream is what I want. I’ll try to do as little research as possible in order to let the book speak for itself, unless things get too incomprehensible.

Koran Index

Sura 1: The Opening - Allah-lujah
Short Summary: We must worship the gracious and merciful Allah and seek His guidance.
Morality Condensed: Praise Allah. Ask Him for help and advice. If you go astray, eat wrath.
The Read: Wonderfully concise.
Sketchiness: People who need to be praised constantly generally have low self-esteem.
Last Word: Allah has a lot to live up to.
Conversion Meter: Add: 6 | New total: +6

Sura 2: The Cow (part I) - Allah has a cow, Man
Short Summary: Stay faithful, for believers are rewarded, and the faithless are burned. Adam and wife lose the Garden. Moses’ people are a bunch of jerks.
Morality Condensed: Stay faithful and grateful to Allah. Sabians, Christians, and Jews are OK, too. Allah’s peeps = Children of Israel. Good intentions won’t save you. Don’t lie. Pray and practice charity regularly. Bow your head when praying. If you screw up, kill yourself.
The Read: A rambling, repetitive semi-coherent mess.
Sketchiness: Allah is a nag, and seems overly focused on finding ways to punish the faithless. His Signs are… convoluted. Angels are whiny ass-kissers.
Last Word: We remember, but would like to forget.
Conversion Meter: Subtract: 8 | New total: -2